In Familiar Genre

I can't wait until March 2nd.  Why?

It is perhaps the quintessential day of the year for aspiring writers. It has nothing to do with announcing Pulitzer Prize winners. It is Dr. Seuss Day.

Theodore Geisel had been a struggling writer for years. One day he was challenged to produce a book with only fifty words. He did it. You know it as Green Eggs and Ham. Ever since then, America and the world have known him as Dr. Seuss.

The rhythm and idiom of many of these books still stick with us as adults. In fact, many an event may be lightened up a bit by describing it in Seussology.

Here is something I wrote in a familiar genre over a decade ago about the 2000 election. Most of those reading Dr. Seuss books for the first time were not even born when America experienced this once in a lifetime event.

Do you recall our friend Chad?

In Familiar Genre

Did you vote on that November Day?

Did you sing along the way?

Did you vote for good, not bad?

Then why are all the voters sad?

Did you punch through your ballot or just make a dent?

Will the machine know your true intent?

Did you vote out of duty or because it was rad?

Did you get to meet the infamous Chad?

You talked about Dubya, Nader, and Gore,

But you never mentioned Chad before.

He's on the news a lot these days,

But they never let you see his face.

He's quite athletic, that's for sure,

With all the swinging and hanging he endures.

But now I've heard of pregnant Chad,

Is there something you haven't told me, dad?

Did you leave out something about the birds and the bees

Chad's a guy, right? Like you and me.

I'm not saying that this is bad,

But is he mother or father, this pregnant Chad?

Was he even married? Did he elope to Niagara?

Could this be the result of Palm County Viagra?

Look, I'm still sorting out puberty and pimples,

Please tell me this had nothing to do with his dimples.

You said this voting was about an election,

But it sounds like this Chad didn't use any protection.

Yes I know about that. You needn't get sore,

I've seen eight years of the news about Clinton and Gore.

You should be proud of my thirst for political knowledge,

I've even applied to the Electoral College.

I can handle their schedule and still drink lots of beer,

It seems that they only meet once every four years.

And if my grades fall even the slightest amount,

I'll send them all back for another recount.

Again and again, until they're real mad,

It seems to have worked for this fellow named Chad.

And open letter to a president or two

The following was submitted to President Bill Clinton and President Barrack Obama.  It is doubtful that it will reach either man, so I offer it hear as an open letter to the president and to all elected government leaders.

Dear Mr. President,

When Barrack Obama was elected as our nation’s president, I signed up for the White House electronic newsletter.  I did not vote for Mr. Obama, but he was elected and therefore he became my president and received my prayers and respect.

I was surprised that because I signed up for this newsletter from the president I was also put on every electronic mailing list for the Democratic Party.  This in itself was not something that I would expect from the office of the president, but worse than the deluge of emails from various democratic sources was the vitriolic tone of them all.  I would not have been privy to such acrimonious attacks on fellow public servants if not for the presumption that all people who signed up for the president’s newsletter were Republican-hating-Democrats.

This mindset has killed the attitude that our elected officials are public servants.  The Republican Party and the Tea Party are equally as acrimonious in their communications, but when I sign up for a candidate’s newsletter, I know that I will receive a dose of partisan horsehockey.  The same should not be true when I sign up for something from my president.

At any time I could have opted to be deleted from the mailing list that I was unilaterally placed upon, but I followed the discourse promulgated to see if it might finally put the American people and their needs ahead of selfish political interests.  My optimism was quickly dismissed as the vitriolic diatribe increased its venomous barrage.

I send this to you as perhaps the only living President or national leader from the Democratic Party that might be able to speak to today’s leaders that are addicted to extreme rancor and disdain for any thinking other than their own.  Senator Dole has issued some similar remarks to the Republican Party.

It is time to move beyond divisiveness and into true statesmanship.  I request that you take an active part in this effort on a national scale.

Semper Fidelis,

Tom Spence