Tom with kids in Kuwait

Tom with kids in Kuwait
Tom with kids in Kuwait

Friday, February 19, 2016

In Familiar Genre

I can't wait until March 2nd.  Why?


It is perhaps the quintessential day of the year for aspiring writers. It has nothing to do with announcing Pulitzer Prize winners. It is Dr. Seuss Day.

Theodore Geisel had been a struggling writer for years. One day he was challenged to produce a book with only fifty words. He did it. You know it as Green Eggs and Ham. Ever since then, America and the world have known him as Dr. Seuss.

The rythmn and idiom of many of these books still sticks with us as adults. In fact, many an event may be lightened up a bit by describing it in Seussology.

Here is something I wrote in familiar genre over a decade ago about the 2000 election. Most of those reading Dr. Seuss books for the first time were not even born when America experienced this once in a lifetime event.

Do you recall our friend Chad?

In Familiar Genre

Did you vote on that November Day?
Did you sing along the way?
Did you vote for good, not bad?
Then why are all the voters sad?

Did you punch through your ballot or just make a dent?
Will the machine know your true intent?
Did you vote out of duty or because it was rad?
Did you get to meet the infamous Chad?

You talked about Dubya, Nader, and Gore,
But you never mentioned Chad before.
He's on the news a lot these days,
But they never let you see his face.

He's quite athletic, that's for sure,
With all the swinging and hanging he endures.
But now I've heard of pregnant Chad,
Is there something you haven't told me, dad?

Did you leave out something about the birds and the bees
Chad's a guy, right? Like you and me.
I'm not saying that this is bad,
But is he mother or father, this pregnant Chad?

Was he even married? Did he elope to Niagara?
Could this be the result of Palm County Viagra?
Look, I'm still sorting out puberty and pimples,
Please tell me this had nothing to do with his dimples.

You said this voting was about an election,
But it sounds like this Chad didn't use any protection.
Yes I know about that. You needn't get sore,
I've seen eight years of the news about Clinton and Gore.

You should be proud of my thirst for political knowledge,
I've even applied to the Electoral College.
I can handle their schedule and still drink lots of beer,
It seems that they only meet once every four years.

And if my grades fall even the slightest amount,
I'll send them all back for another recount.
Again and again, until they're real mad,
It seems to have worked for this fellow named Chad.


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