Tom with kids in Kuwait

Tom with kids in Kuwait
Tom with kids in Kuwait

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Salt of the Earth

The Salt of the Earth

This is a short skit performed in a single act.  The performance requires 4 actors and 1 narrator.

Four boys or four girls are sitting on 2 benches in the locker room before the basketball game.  The benches [or chairs if no benches are available] are formed in an obtuse V with the point of the V away from the audience.  This enhances dialogue and still leaves the actors generally front facing.  Some towels and a basketball or two should be enough to provide an adequate set. 

This is light-hearted locker-room banter.  The actors not part of the conversation [Jim goes the longest without saying anything] noticeably move their heads back and forth to follow the conversation as if they were following a tennis match.

The four actors walk in pantomiming conversation as they go to the benches.  They pantomime taking shoes off and lacing up shoes and other such actions that can be done easily while remaining seated.

Once all are in place, Jim looks at all the others and the dialogue begins.

Jim:  We are going to get out butts kicked tonight.
Bob:  Dude, get positive.
Jim:  We don’t have a chance tonight.  We are going to get creamed.
Bob:  Well, I think we do, and…
Jim:  And what?
Bob:  And when we do, you will be eating crow.
Jim:  Eating Crow?  What’s that mean?
Bob:  It means eating your own words and they won’t be tasting good.
Sam:  I ate a crow sandwich once.
Jim & Bob [Together]:  What?
Sam:  Yeah, I ate a crow sandwich once and it was pretty good.
Bob:  You’re crazy.
Jim:  Yeah, crazy.
Sam:  No, really, I was at Burger King for breakfast and I got a crow sandwich.  It’s way better than an Egg McMuffin.
Bob:  Sam, what you got was a QWAA SANDWICH.
Sam:  How do you spell that?
Bob:  C R O…
Sam:  See, I told you it was crow sandwich.
Alex:  Yeah and they have to make those because of the Jim Crow laws.
Bob:  Jim Crow laws kept white people and black people separate.
Sam:  Yeah, separation of church and state, you know.
Bob:  What!  No!  No!  Separation of church and state is a whole different thing.  It is suppose to protect the church from the state.
Alex:  Which state?
Bob:  “The” state, like the government, you know?
Sam:  We have to be protected from the state government of Oklahoma?
Alex:  No, we are protected from having to eat crow sandwiches.
Sam:  But I like crow sandwiches.
Alex:  It’s that Jim Beam law.
Bob:  C’mon guys.  Jim Beam is whiskey.
Alex:  Yeah and there were laws against whiskey back before we were born.
Sam:  They called that time perdition.
Bob:  You mean prohibition.
Sam:  My uncle liked his booze and said it was perdition.
Alex:  Man you guys don’t know anything.  A perdition is when you add a room on to your house.
Bob:  Well, per Webster’s dictionary, that’s called an addition.
Alex:  Well, since it’s per Webster’s, I say it’s a per addition or perdition for short.
Sam:  I think that’s somebody from Paris.
Bob:  No, that’s a Parisian.
Alex:  No that was one of those old guys who coached Notre Dame back in the day.
Bob:  You mean, Ara Parseghian.
Sam:  My grandfather had that.  His hands got real shaky and he had trouble walking.
Alex:  Yeah, that’s parks and recreations disease.
Bob:  No, that’s Parkinson’s disease.
Alex:  Yeah it’s almost as bad as the plack.
Sam:  You mean the stuff that killed half the people on earth?
Alex:  Yeah that’s it, it almost killed everyone on earth.
Bob:  You mean the black plague.
Alex:  Whatever.  It was bad.  I don’t know why it didn’t get everyone.
Sam:  Because of the salt of the earth.
Bob:  Really, the salt of the earth?
Alex:  Yeah, that’s it, the salt of the earth.
Bob:  C’mon guys, don’t mess with this one.  Jesus called us the salt of the earth.
Alex:  Really?
Sam:  Really?
Jim [Finally rejoining the conversation]:  Really?
Bob:  Yes.
Alex, Sam, and Jim [Together]:  What’s that mean?
Bob:  It means, well, you are the salt of the earth.  It mean, well, well….
Sam:  Dude!  We count on you to know everything.  What does it mean that we are the salt of the earth?
Alex:  Yeah, we know you will have the right answer and that allows us to just be crazy.  What does it mean that we are the salt of the earth?
Bob:  Well,…..Well, I’m not sur…
Jim:  What if it means that we Christians are like salt to the rest of the people on the earth.  We make them thirsty for living water.  We make them thirsty for Jesus.
Bob:  Wow.  I can see that.
Alex:  Or it could mean that we are the seasoning of the earth.  We bring out the God-flavors, the God-seasoning, the God-taste in the world.
Bob [Nodding agreement]:  That’s some real thinking there.
Sam:  What if we are salt like back in the day when salt preserved things?  What if we keep things fresh?  We keep things from going bad?  Could that be it?
Bob:  I think you are on to something.
Alex:  What if Jesus had called us the pepper of the planet instead?
Bob:  Wouldn’t be the same.  Pepper can spice things up for sure but it doesn’t have the same qualities as salt.  Put salt in water you have salt water.  It permeates the whole glass or bucket or ocean.
Sam:  Does salt have an expiration date?
Bob:  Nope.  It lasts and lasts and lasts.  Real salt doesn’t go bad.  It doesn’t lose it’s taste.
Jim:  If it did, we would have to flush it.
Bob:  Don’t do that.  We don’t need salt in the water system, even in the sewer system.
Jim:  Then what do you do with salt that has lost its saltiness?
Bob:  Throw it out on the street where it will be ground away to nothing.
Jim:  That makes sense.  Salt that isn’t salty isn’t worth anything anyway.
Bob:  Now you’re talking.  You still think we are going to lose the game.
Jim:  Not a chance.  I’m feeling salty.  Let’s go mix it up and see how it comes out.
Alex:  Yeah, let’s go get ‘em!
Sam:  Yeah, let’s go, then afterwards we will go get crow sandwiches.
[All exit stage left]

Narrator:  You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

Copyright Notice

Use of this work without the express written consent of the author is authorized, encouraged, and may be done with or without giving credit to the author.  Use this to bring glory to God.  Use it to lead people to Christ.  Use it to be a light in this often dark world and the God-seasoning of the earth.  Use it to help people laugh, learn, and love.  Put it to work so that people will respond with the faith God has given them and proclaim Jesus to be Lord.

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